Only Fools Chase the Extraordinary

A ten-minute walking meditation can deliver more rest and happiness than the most lavish vacation you can imagine.

Many years ago, at my first meditation retreat in a Zen temple in Poland, I was struck by a simple insight. It was day three of the silent retreat. After several periods of sitting meditation, we stood up for walking meditation. We would sit in meditation for 30 minutes, follow it with 10 minutes of walking meditation, then return to the cushion for another 30 minutes. 

This cycle repeated throughout the entire day, every day, for the duration of a week. Left step, right step. Fully present, I felt each movement of my body, each foot propelling me forward. My mind was present witnessing various thoughts, each disappearing as quickly as it arose, like leaves on a stream.

It became clear that the pace at which I noticed and let go of thoughts contributed to a profound sense of recovery, clarity, and ease. As I walked quietly, listening to distant bird songs, a realization dawned on me: the simple act of walking was more refreshing than what I’ve experienced on vacation or any other occasion.

People often take a one or two-week vacation to recharge from work, yet here I am, simply walking, feeling more revitalized than anyone returning from a holiday.

Escaping the Ordinary

Why isn’t everybody doing that?

Why do people need to get away from their life circumstances in order to recharge?

People work hard to afford a comfortable life, then hurry to escape it for a week or two to forget their daily grind and recharge. Yet, these breaks are stressful, and the dread of work returns once you're back. When people return, they're already fearing their next day at work. 

How refreshing can a vacation really be if it doesn't make you excited to return to daily life or leave you feeling ready for the task at hand?

Thirst for the Extraordinary

People are always seeking something special to feel better and more alive. 

They thirst for experiences beyond their ordinary daily life, which often feels boring, unexciting, and burdening. This pursuit extends even beyond vacations. Many work hard to earn money or chase special experiences, always staying busy. Dreaming about a certain scenario that will finally bring them peace and make them feel fully alive.

Social media is full of it—endless displays of lavish and extravagant lives: flying around the world, eating at the best restaurants, chilling in remote locations, and partying at the best clubs, just to name a few. 

But do they really get what they desire? 

Is this truly fulfilling? 

Is it really better than your ordinary boring life?

I don’t think so.

Chasing Is Suffering

Believing that chasing anything will make you happy is an illusion. 

If you think something outside yourself, something beyond the 'here and now,' will make things better, you're mistaken.

Whenever we chase something, we desire to go from point A to point B, already implying that point A is insufficient and point B is better. This is always the case, and if you doubt it, simply examine your own life. Aside from the more apparent examples like dissatisfaction with our jobs, relationships, or living conditions, this principle also applies to smaller, everyday situations. 

For instance, we might find ourselves taking a walk outside when it's just a bit too hot or too cold for comfort, sitting in a chair that’s slightly uncomfortable, or watching a video and getting annoyed by the ads. In these situations, there's an element of suffering or unsatisfactoriness involved, and you probably wish for something else instead.

Now, what’s causing this unsatisfactoriness to appear?

Causes of Suffering

According to the first Noble Truth articulated by Buddha, life is “dukkha”. Dukkha is often translated as 'suffering,' but a more accurate meaning is 'unsatisfactoriness.' It explains that all existence is imperfect and unsatisfactory, leading to suffering. But where does this feeling of unsatisfactoriness come from?

That’s where Buddha’s Second Noble Truth comes into play.

It identifies ignorance, craving, and aversion as the root causes of unsatisfactoriness. We are ignorant of the true cause of suffering, mistaking external conditions for internal conflict. We crave sensory stimulations, believing they will make us happier and more fulfilled. We try to avoid situations that we dislike. We think we suffer from external factors, but in reality, we suffer because we create an ideal version in our minds and then complain when reality doesn't match it.

The Third and Fourth Noble Truths say that ending desire is possible, and there is a way to achieve it.

Taking My Desires for a Walk

Since it was my first meditation retreat, many thoughts came up: "When is this going to be over?" "My back hurts." "It's very uncomfortable to sit in a cross-legged position," and so on. One after another, my thoughts would appear in my mind and I tried to get rid of them again.

I tried very hard to meditate, to make the thoughts disappear, desiring to achieve a state of complete stillness and peace.

But suddenly, after hours and hours of sitting, this desire was consciously seen and acknowledged. 

• The desire to have a good meditation session. 
• The desire for inner stillness and peace. 
• The desire for avoiding these unpleasant thoughts complaining about the situation.

Becoming aware of this desire and how it led me astray in my meditation left me with only one question: How can I overcome this desire when trying to overcome it is just another desire?

For once, I took a radical approach. Instead of engaging with the desire, I simply wondered if I could live with it. I wondered if I could continue witnessing this desire and what it brought up in my inner world. It brought up uncomfortable feelings, craving for something else, and way more thoughts. Gradually, I was able to lean more into observing these thoughts and desires and how they play out in my mind instead of actively engaging with them.

Just witnessing a thought appear in my mind, and by simply acknowledging it, the thought would disappear again.

Soon enough, the next thought would arise, waiting to be seen and acknowledged. It wasn’t about doing anything specific with these thoughts, like trying to prevent them or pushing them away. It was more about simply acknowledging their presence and accepting their existence, not wishing for anything else. By removing the charge from these thoughts and desires by simply acknowledging them, they were no longer sustained by my attachment or resistance. 

They were free to come and go.

I was essentially left with no alternate reality to retreat into, but to embrace whatever happened. No desire for anything to be different, whether external or internal.

Sitting there in my gray Zen robe, with my back and knees hurting, the rich melody of birdsong and the warm brown wooden floor of the Zen center filled my senses. A feeling of uncaused contentment and peace emerged, rendering me completely joyful despite the ordinariness of the moment. 

Surprisingly, just by sitting in a room with others and gazing at the floor, I began to feel a happiness that surpassed anything I had experienced before.

That’s when the bell rang, signaling that it was time for a walking meditation.

Being Ordinary

I learned that being ordinary is enough.

And "Enough" holds more value than what is considered special today.

Adyashanti, a well known meditation teacher, once said, "A simple cup of tea is much more; it is reality drinking itself, experiencing itself as a cup of tea in all its ordinariness and simplicity." Sitting at a table with a cup of tea—or coffee—in its simple, ordinary form, and being fully present with each sip, may well be the most profound expression of enlightenment imaginable.

Forget the flashy displays that are often considered spiritual today. Some people try really hard to look spiritual. They dress and speak in certain ways, perhaps showing off their experiences and insights like trophies.

True spirituality doesn't need all that. It will actually become a hindrance for you.

If you chase after special experiences, whether in the material or spiritual world, your own desires will lead you astray as we’ve learned before. Why not simply stand where your feet touch the ground, embracing the ordinary? Feel your feet against the concrete, hear the birds sing, and let the fresh wind and sunlight touch your skin. See the buildings and trees around you, and deeply feel the vibrancy of being alive.

Within the ordinary lies immense aliveness and clarity, more than most people ever come to appreciate.

Seeking something else than what you are experiencing right now will not help you. It will actually make you more miserable than you already are.

What do we even mean by "special"? Consider any supposedly special situation, like a lavish vacation. Really picture yourself there, experiencing it fully. In reality, you might just find yourself standing or walking in a beautiful place, possibly feeling hungry or tired, living through usual human emotions and needs. It's quite ordinary when you think about it. 

Even experiences that seem exceptional, like driving a Ferrari or flying on a private jet, essentially consist of only ordinary actions: sitting, looking around, feeling this or that way, and so forth. There may be moments of joy, but these are often fleeting, overshadowed by a deeper understanding that even these special moments can't provide lasting fulfillment.

Your dream coming to life, as exciting as it sounds, is just another ordinary moment.

But when you're there, you might pretend it's truly making you happy, so you don't have to face the shame of having chased an empty dream for so long. You play a part in your own soap opera, pretending to be happy now, but inside you really know that this is not it.

Always seeking something special doesn't work, and sooner or later, you'll realize you've wasted your life.

Beyond the Ordinary

Don’t get me wrong—I’m not saying it’s bad to live a certain way, whether rich or poor. That’s not what matters.

It doesn't mean you should ignore your ambitions or desires, either. Trying to get rid of desires is itself a desire. Your ambitions and desires are only ordinary anyway, so don’t try to eliminate them.

What I'm referring to is the difference between our expectations and reality. Since I’ve explained that all moments, even the special ones, are just ordinary, we can use this idea. Instead of chasing the next experience, we can realize that every moment is just ordinary. And if every moment is ordinary, why not fully live in the present and appreciate its simplicity?

So instead of dreaming about the next moment, we might as well realize that the current moment has everything we need. 

We just need to make it a practice to tap into it.

This sounds simple, right?

Maybe even too simple?

Or should we say it's just too ordinary?

Try it out right now!

Look around—what does your current moment look like? How does it feel?

Do you sense something is missing? 

Do you feel you're not allowing yourself to be fully happy right now?

Don’t worry. That’s just an ordinary feeling getting in the way.

What else in your surroundings is just ordinary?

Maybe you hear birds singing, or children playing, or the sound of work at a nearby construction site. And perhaps all this is accompanied by various thoughts—doubts, fears, feelings of not being good enough, and so on.

See and feel how much is already present. There's a richness in each ordinary moment if we only dare to notice it.

Even if you face internal resistances, don't try to eliminate them. After all, why try to get rid of them if you don't have a grand vision of yourself without them and how fantastic that would feel? You see…

But if you notice yourself doing that, remember it's just ordinary human behavior.

I wish you all a very ordinary moment right now.

All the best,

Christian