If You Don’t Attain Enlightenment Now, You Never Will

Zen Master Linji once said: “Make no mistake about it; if you do not find it now, you will repeat the same routines for myriad eons, a thousand times over again, following and picking up on objects that attract you.”

So, if you can't find enlightenment now, right in this moment, where else do you expect to find it?

Maybe you think about attaining enlightenment somewhere in the future, after you have purified yourself enough, because right now you don't deserve it? Or you think something is missing in your current spiritual practice, so enlightenment won’t come until you’ve figured it out and made a strong commitment to a proper spiritual practice before you can finally attain it. Whatever it is, there is no problem. You are following exactly what Zen Master Linji said — but only the letter part of his quote.

“If you don’t find it now, you’ll keep repeating the same routines, chasing after objects that attract you.”

Because you don’t find enlightenment right now, in this moment, you’ll keep repeating stuff that’s not working, picking up on objects that you like. That’s a great thing! You now know exactly what will happen in your future. Almost never can anybody know what will happen in their future, but in this case, it's really possible.

If you expect future enlightenment, you’ll for sure not get it, and you’ll keep repeating what already doesn’t work. So, what does this leave us with?

It leaves us with hopelessness, doubt, despair—you name it. Whatever reaction you get from this teaching, it can be boiled down into two things: Doubt and urgency.

It evokes doubt because you don’t know. You really don’t know. What is this all about? What is enlightenment? Who am I? What is my true Self?

You don’t know.

But you really want to know. This is where urgency comes in.

This combination of doubt and urgency creates something that has been described as great doubt.

Ancient Zen masters liked to picture this great doubt as a stone wall miles high—a massive barrier that blocks your way and must be broken through to attain realization.

Usually, we tend to shy away from it. Instead of using this great doubt as the ancient Zen masters instructed, we’d rather do routines and practices that make us feel good, that make us feel like we are on a path, that we have certainty, and that we are making spiritual progress.

“If you can’t find enlightenment right now, you’ll keep practicing what doesn’t work.”

So, what would it mean to attain it right now, in this moment?

…

Don’t know.

Instead of trying to switch to something where we feel certainty—another spiritual practice—how would it be if we were to surrender to this not knowing, to this great doubt?

Because whenever we feel certainty on our path, we have strayed from it. We have closed ourselves off from what is, and we covered it up with what we think it is.

It’s exactly as Linji said—we are just picking up objects that we like.

So, what would it mean to find it right now?

Since there is no past enlightenment and no future enlightenment, it must be here in this moment.

What is it?

…

It’s not about finding an answer, but about arousing this great doubt, this kind of questioning, in each and every moment—and cutting off all deluded ideas that make you think enlightenment is something that happens in the future.

What is it?

Alright, I hope that you’ve lost your hope for future enlightenment and that you are now in a state of genuine questioning, of great doubt.

Wish you all the best. Your friend of the way, bye.