Don’t Be Fooled by the World—Buddha Realized True Happiness Isn’t Out There

The Secret to Happiness Has Nothing to Do with Achieving Goals

You are unhappy and unfulfilled, but not because of your circumstances, your partner, or unfulfilled dreams. In this article, I'll discuss finding lasting happiness, fulfillment, and inner peace.

Most people want to sell you things you don’t need, convincing you that following their example will make you happy, but they are misleading you.

About 2500 years ago, there was a guy in India who found lasting happiness, fulfillment and inner peace. He discovered a happiness that transcends this world, inspiring countless people today without relying on anything we believe is necessary for finding happiness.

Do you think he has tried to accomplish something in the world?

Or do you think he found his perfect partner, or fulfilled his dreams?

No, this is actually what he moved away from in order to find true happiness. He didn't need any of that; in fact, he had more money and power than most other people, and yet he found it unnecessary. And you don’t need any of that either; it’s much simpler than you might think.

And it’s free—you don’t even need to give up the things you have or want in your life. There is actually a strong connection between wanting things and not finding true happiness in your life.

Expecting happiness from impermanent things causes suffering. It’s impossible to find true happiness in things that have no lasting substance.

The Trap of Desire

Do you think you are better off once you accomplish your dreams?

Or do you believe you will be happy once you find the perfect partner, make a lot of money, become famous, or whatever?

Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way.

It’s not as simple as making your dreams come true and living happily ever after.

Just as a disclaimer: When people hear Buddhists talk about the need to let go of everything, many imagine they must give up their daily lives, hobbies, partners, and everything else to find true happiness. I think it’s a big misunderstanding, and I’ll address it later.

Let's talk about this guy from 2,500 years ago who gave up everything to find true happiness. Clearly, he succeeded, and now there are millions, perhaps billions, of statues of him all over the world. We now know him as “Buddha”. He was a prince, had lots of money, a beautiful wife, a child, and was seen as the successor of his father, the king, clearly living in a good situation for that time.

He saw the reality of human life which is aging, sickness, and death. After witnessing a beggar who seemed unaffected by suffering, he became convinced that there must be a deeper truth underlying it all.

He then went on an existential quest on how to overcome suffering. Eventually he got enlightened, and spent the rest of his life teaching practices that lead to the cessation of suffering and the attainment of Nirvana.

So what did he find out and what did he teach?

One of his most important teachings was about 'dukkha,' which is commonly translated as 'suffering.' More accurately, it refers to a pervasive sense of unsatisfactoriness. So, he is not only referring to severe suffering, such as intense illness or imminent death, but he also points to our continuous state of unsatisfactoriness. And this unsatisfactoriness is caused by desire. The desire for things to be different.

Whether you are poor and want to be rich, ill and want to be healthy, or hungry and want food, desire means wanting something other than what is present right now.

However, getting what we want doesn't make us truly happy. It actually can’t. Everything in our world, including the world itself, has only a relative existence. This means everything is impermanent—it comes and goes. The things we desire are relative and therefore impermanent. It means they come and they go, and there is absolutely no exception to that.

The Endless Cycle of Desire and Suffering

So how can you expect happiness to last forever if it's based on things that don’t last forever? And if you claim you're not seeking eternal happiness, I think you're lying to yourself. 

Actually, just look around at society and the many ways people delude themselves into thinking that this or that activity or thing will make them happy. They keep running in circles, but they never truly arrive. People are doing anything in order to get a small glimpse of happiness.

Even among meditators who have intellectually grasped the Buddha's teachings, they are misled by their own desire for eternal happiness, which, of course, keeps them from finding that very happiness.

Whether we're talking about the lowest pursuits of happiness, such as greed and indulgence, or the highest desires, like the pursuit of God or true happiness, they both operate on the same mechanism.

And this mechanism is called desire, and its consequence is suffering.

Happiness Is Already Here, Not in What You Want

So can we find true happiness if every pursuit only leads to more suffering?

No, we can’t. It’s impossible.

Looking for happiness already implies suffering. The very act of looking for something is desire.

Desire implies that where we are isn't alright and that we need to go somewhere else to find something better. We don’t appreciate the current moment, and try to look for a better moment somewhere else. Seeking true happiness implies that it’s not already here and that we need to look for it somewhere else.

There is only one problem. There is only the moment, the here and now. Past and future are only thoughts in our mind, they don’t exist. There is, in fact, no other place than here and now.

This is also why we suffer. We are trying something that is impossible. We are trying to find true happiness in a place that doesn’t exist. Since it's always the here and now, no other place exists—there's nowhere else to find true happiness.

If we try to find it somewhere else, where do we expect to find it? 

An enlightened master once shared the following example with me to show how desire and suffering work:

Everyone knows the feeling of being hungry and craving food. Imagine you're hungry and heading to a restaurant. You’re already desiring the food and drinks, thinking about what you’ll order, and looking forward to it. Because of your hunger, your thoughts are fixated on the food, and you're no longer present in the moment. The craving for food becomes your whole world temporarily. 

Then you arrive at the restaurant, place your order, and the waiter brings your food. And here’s what happens next. You take a few bites, and suddenly, the craving is gone. Everything that was tied to your anticipation of the food has vanished. Now it’s just you eating the food, being happier than you were before.

Our rational, thinking mind observes this situation and concludes that food makes us happy. However, how long does this happiness last? At the latest, only until you are hungry again. Now, if we examine the situation on a deeper level, we can see the following. Before we get to the table to eat the food, we are basically in a state of desire. We are craving, desiring this food. This desire makes us suffer. We are not in the present moment anymore, we are only thinking about the future. We disregard the present moment, only thinking about the future.

This is what the Buddha meant by 'dukkha,' or unsatisfactoriness. Suffering doesn’t always mean we’re in severe pain or agony. It simply means that being here and now isn’t enough, so we start looking elsewhere.

We arrive at the restaurant, order and receive our food, and as soon as we take the first few bites, the craving and desire disappear. Instead of thinking that the food made us happy, we realize that it was the desire, the craving, that made us unhappy—and once it disappeared, we felt happy. 

Fulfilling our dreams doesn’t make us happy. When we achieve something and the desire disappears, the happiness that’s always here can reemerge.

Our true nature, our true Self, the essence of being, is happiness itself. And when the clouds of desire vanish, happiness resurfaces, unconditionally. In Advaita Vedanta, Brahman—the unchanging reality—is described as Sat-Cit-Ananda, meaning 'existence, consciousness, and bliss.' 

It means that bliss, or happiness is woven into our very being, into our essence. It’s always there, but we typically don’t recognize it because we overshadow it with our desires.

In those brief moments when desire disappears, we can feel it. We then mistake it as the result of getting what we wanted, rather than happiness appearing because desire disappeared.

This is really important to understand, but don’t take my word. Try to see it for yourself.

Finding Happiness by Letting Go of Desire

Just notice whenever a tendency arises within you, suggesting that you need to do something or go somewhere else to be happy. Then observe this movement in your mind, this tendency. Notice how it expresses itself within your system.

Notice the energy, the feeling behind it. What does it feel like? How does this desire drive you in a particular direction? And remain completely still as you do this. Don’t follow or suppress the desire; just observe it.

Also, stay curious about it. How is it even able to move you toward a certain action? How is it able to override your conscious mind, turning you into its puppet? How is it able to overshadow the inherent happiness that you really are? What’s the mechanism?

The more you practice this and observe your inner workings, the clearer it becomes, and the less likely you are to follow it unconsciously.

Naturally, your true being, which is happiness itself, will become more apparent in your life.  You don’t have to do anything for it, or work for it; you simply let go of trying to get somewhere else.

True happiness is unconditional. You don’t have to earn it, work for it, run after it. You already deserve it because it’s who you truly are.

As the Hindus say, you are that very existence, consciousness, and bliss. Believing that an impermanent material thing or goal can make you happy is an insult to your true being. It’s like trading gold for pennies.

Before I wrap up, I want to address something important—a question that may have come to your mind. People are often confused when they hear this and think they have to give up everything—their life, hobbies, partners, goals, everything. This isn't true. It also shows how simple and limited our rational minds are, always jumping from one extreme to the other. People today are very proud of their thinking, yet we're actually more misguided than ever—but I'll save that topic for another time.

You don’t have to give up anything. Just live your life, and be aware of your inner workings.

Sure, you may let go of unnecessary activities because you now see through your desires, but it doesn’t mean you stop everything.

Trying to stop your desire is just another desire so don’t fall into this trap.

Just stay as you are and do what needs to be done. It’s more about becoming aware of our inner world than trying to change something on the outside. The outer world will become clear once the inner world is clear.

Alright, I hope this was helpful. If you have any questions about this, please write me an email.

See you next time. Your friend of the way—bye!