Are You Awakening—or Escaping?

Believing we are separate from Absolute Truth, Buddha, or God, makes us suffer and constantly look for ways to reunite, to become complete again.

Very few people are conscious of the cause of this suffering, and many more don’t know anything about it at all. All they do is try to compensate for this feeling of lack, and because they don’t know any better, they try to compensate with things outside of themselves.

Whether it’s a partner, a family, a nice living situation, or material things—most people hope to find something that makes them feel complete again.

However, this never works. We can’t find Absolute Truth in relative things. We can’t find eternal peace in things that come and go. The only happiness and peace we can find in things that come and go is happiness and peace that also comes and goes.

We can’t get something permanent or absolute from impermanent things.

So, what’s the solution to this? We get clear about the cause of our suffering—which, according to the Buddha, is ignorance and craving—and we take action to remove ignorance and craving so that we become aware again of our true nature. This is called enlightenment.

So, two roads appear before us:

The one road leads us to stay identified with, or attached to, our relative human existence, where we believe we are cut off from Absolute Truth. We try to compensate for this lack by chasing more things—by becoming more powerful, more successful, even more happy.

The other road, however, leads us to let go of our false identities, to let go of our attachments, and to turn inward in order to find out who we really are. To discover that we are actually Buddha, God, or Absolute Truth, we have to let go of everything we are not.

When we look around in society, we can definitely say that most people are on the first road. They are not yet ready to walk the road of remembering who they truly are, and they still try to find happiness in the relative world. And this is perfectly okay as it is. Most spiritual traditions say that we shouldn’t disturb their sleep, and that there will be a time when they are ripe for Awakening.

However, there are some people who have been called to walk the second road. They are aware of spirituality, they practice within a certain spiritual tradition, and they thirst for enlightenment—for awakening to their true nature. This includes you—otherwise, you wouldn’t be seeing this right now.

But let me ask you this: Are you in it for Truth—or are you using spirituality to feed your craving and feel better?

Why do you practice meditation or other spiritual practices?

What makes you strive for enlightenment or awakening?

One mechanism we use to stay attached to the relative world and to keep suffering is to imagine how things could be better and to start chasing our projection.

Now, let's take a proper look at ourselves. Why are we practicing spirituality?

Is it because we have some idea in mind, some projection of how everything would be better for us and the whole existence if we were enlightened, or is it because we are genuinely called to practice?

If we are not completely clear about this question, we may chase states of being that seem desirable but have nothing to do with true spirituality. Maybe we just want to compensate for our lack of well-being by chasing something called enlightenment.

Enlightenment is sold as an experience where you feel infinite bliss always and forever. I mean, this sounds wonderful, and if that’s the promise, any reasonable individual would be interested in that.

The only problem is that if we chase something—no matter what we chase—we create suffering because we run after a certain idea of how reality should look in order for us to be completely happy and fulfilled.

Even if we think we are practicing for a legitimate reason—because we want to know the truth, the absolute truth—we should take a deeper look into our motivations.

If we are not aware of our motivations, they will misguide us.

Instead of engaging in true spiritual practice, which means letting go of all desires and attachments, we may try to escape into an imagined alternate reality.

Instead of dealing with our life situation from moment to moment—where we stay open to whatever happens in a clear and compassionate way—we may start daydreaming and neglecting everything, only thinking about our egoistic motivations.

We may even strengthen our egoistic tendencies by splitting the world into good and bad, unenlightened and enlightened, and so on.

This may be an extreme example, but how often have you caught yourself thinking or dreaming about enlightenment and how it would solve all your personal problems?

If we really want our spiritual practice to ripen, we need to be able to differentiate between our personal wishes and desires and true spiritual practice.

Whenever we dream up some fantasy—no matter how subtle it is, whether it's dreaming about how everything would be perfect if we were enlightened or just thinking about how nice it would be to find a parking spot immediately when we go shopping—we create an idea of how reality should be. Now, trying to get there or not getting there means suffering.

True spiritual practice means to become aware of our personal dreams, our personal motivations, and to let them go. We simply notice them, stop attaching to them, and let them go.

Oftentimes, this is not an easy process. We have to let go of everything we believe and think, of every individual perspective, of every personal motivation.

And because it’s personal, it’s very difficult. Letting go of things we don’t care about is easy, but true spiritual practice requires us to let go of the things that are most important to us. Our beliefs, viewpoints, how we look at the world and other people—all of that.

And now comes the question: why would we do that?

Why would we even chase something—something called enlightenment—if it requires us to let go of everything we value?

I mean, giving up everything—for what? For a place in heaven? For Nirvana?

If this is our motivation, we are already lost.

Giving up everything just for a wonderful feeling in heaven?

If this is the goal, we might as well just do drugs or drink alcohol, because this is a purely personal motivation where it’s only about the question, “How do I feel better?”

It’s only about our small, personal self, and this is an expression of its greed, of its craving, because it thinks it’s separate from Absolute Truth and that it needs something—even heaven—to compensate for its lack.

True spiritual practice requires us to let go of our personal wants and desires—even our motivation to get enlightened.

So, why would we give up everything—let go of everything including the idea of enlightenment? I can’t answer this question for you, but I think it’s worthwhile to contemplate this. Am I only in it for ME—for my small, personal self? Or is there a motivation that even transcends this notion?

When we look at some famous enlightened people, like Buddha or Jesus, did they practice spirituality just for their own well-being? Or the second Zen patriarch—he stood outside the cave where Bodhidharma practiced, and to prove he was serious enough to receive his teachings, he cut off his arm just to show how serious he is.

Why did they do that? I haven’t talked to any of them personally, so I can only guess. To go to such extremes, I think they valued Truth over everything else. They wanted to find out: What is truth? They didn’t seek on their own behalf, for their own benefit—no, they wanted to find truth, absolute truth, no matter what it cost. Now, you probably don’t need to do anything they have done to get there.

The only thing you need to do is give up your personal desires. “I want this” or “I want that”—whenever you become aware of something like this, just notice it. Don’t run away from it, don’t fight it, but also don’t feed it. Just notice it, and reorient your awareness towards practice.

The more personal your desire is, the more difficult it will be to shift your awareness toward spiritual practice and let go of this desire. You can ask yourself, “Who is aware of this desire?” Thereby, you turn your attention from a thought or a desire—which is always relative, coming and going—to yourself, your true self. You just turn your attention around, and ask yourself who you truly are.

You are not your thought, you are not your desire, so you are already beyond them, but sometimes they can be quite sticky. Can you let go of your thoughts, wishes, and desires that feel like they are part of you? It definitely takes courage, determination, and a little patience to do that.

So I invite you to honestly ask yourself why you are on this path.

Look at your motivations in any given moment—look at all the thoughts, desires, and wishes that come up, notice them, and just let them go.

It’s important to be able to discern between our personal motivations—that only lead us to more chasing and suffering—and being on a true spiritual path.

Alright, I hope this gave you something real to reflect on.

Take care. Wishing you all the best.
Your friend of the way—bye.